Yet another conversation with my mother. This one is kinda one-sided.

by Perckle on March 4, 2010

My mom said she wanted to come visit me and the husband.  She got really excited about it.  Then suddenly she claimed that tickets were too expensive.  Being the internet-using GENIUS that I am, I found her a flight that was under her budget.  Then she gave me some crap about it still being too expensive even though it was UNDER HER BUDGET.  I found this unacceptable and thus began my campaign to get her to come visit me.

Actual email:

Travel…
Thu, March 4, 2010 10:40:39 AM

From: Perckle
To: Mom

If you don’t want to visit me, you can just say so.  You don’t have to hide behind this “those tickets are too expensive” facade when the tickets I found are well under your original price.You know how I feel about liars.
Hate ‘em.
So don’t be one.
***This message paid for by Perckle’s Inane Loathing of Liars***

For more information on PILL, please visit your local pharmacist*.

*Your pharmacist will most likely not have any information on this, but may slip you a strong anti-psychotic**.

**We at PILL do not support improper use of medications***.

***Unless the person really deserves it, like that time we slipped Grandma a percocet so she’d stop talking crazy.****

****That may or may not have happened.  I’m actually not allowed to talk about it.*****

*****Fine, it didn’t happen but don’t act like it never crossed your mind.******

******No, this does not make me a liar and I am not in violation of any PILL policies.*******

*******I cannot back this up.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Bil March 5, 2010 at 12:23 am

Once I tried to get my congressman to come visit me, and he was all like, “Sorry, dude, plane tickets are too expensive,” and I was all like, “Dude. I am a taxpayer. Plane rides are on me.” But then he mysteriously came down with “the flu,” so he told me he would take a rain check. Then, even though he had “the flu,” he managed to go partying at some slutty club. How do I know this? His Twitter account is NOT set to private.

Congressmen are really bad at lying.

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