Searching for a missing hamster. Staring suspiciously at everyone. Even you.

by Perckle on April 7, 2011

Alert the media. Stop the presses.  Call the police.

As most few of you know, there was a post here about how hamsters could save the world by reducing our energy dependence.

I must have struck a chord with somebody because that post has vanished. Disappeared.  Was it WordPress? Was it PETA?  Was it the very people I described in the post who are already stealing other people’s hamsters to fuel their own methods of transportation?  We may never know.

Have you seen this hamster post?

Posting this shit everywhere.

At this point, everyone’s a suspect.

If you’ve seen this post somewhere in the realm of the interwebs, I’d sure like to have it back.  I don’t have another copy of it. Obviously, I’d just repost it if I could. But I can’t.

I really liked that hamster.  I can’t sleep at night worrying about him.  Is he warm?  Did he already eat that whole baby carrot he had?  Did he find hamster friends?  Has he fallen victim to the underground hamster wheel cage fighting matches that are all the rage with pre-schoolers these days?

Holy hell.  What if that whole post was the answer to the energy problems throughout the world and some crazy ass terminator-like dude came from the future that existed before I wrote the post to ensure his own existence which would surely be negated by the creation of hamster-powered everything as suggested by my blog and the only way to do this would obviously be to erase the original idea?  Well, guess what, Terminator? You can’t erase my brain.

Fuck. Schwarzenegger was in that mind erasing movie too.

I’ll be drinking heavily in the corner if you need me.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

IrishJalex April 7, 2011 at 2:49 am

Isn’t California in an energy crisis? Holy crap! Schwarzenegger’s behind it all! It’s like WWI all over again. Austria has come back for revenge!

Jean C. April 7, 2011 at 3:00 am

Ok, well that sucks. I had a post disappear on blogspot too. Very Schwartzenegger… hmmm an epidemic maybe? Mine was about the neighbor’s dog. Maybe he kidnapped the hamster and took off. Haven’t seen him in a week or so…

Bil April 7, 2011 at 8:47 am

Luckily, Schwarzenegger doesn’t kill anybody without a clever one-liner, and I’m pretty sure he’s used up his supply of cleverness for the rest of his life.

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